i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
