I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
