shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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