Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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