me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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