Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She bit a glass in half.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
