I didn't shave. On purpose
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is wine microwaveable?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
