I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
