I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
