I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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