Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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