one might say we're banned from that church
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I understand Curling. That high.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
