I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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