ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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