I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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