Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm really busy with my period
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