I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize