non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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