i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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