the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize