I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
two words: eviction party
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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