You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
