just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Alive.
So much puke
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
