dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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