whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
