My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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