i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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