: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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