Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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