I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
