every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize