one might say we're banned from that church
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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