I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
