He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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