Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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