Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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