I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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