shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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