then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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