on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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