Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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