I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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