found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
