She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
