I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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