We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
