how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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