Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
