Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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