I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
