can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
