We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
one might say we're banned from that church
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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