I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
