Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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