They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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