i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Randomize