oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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